


F Is For Falling

by SK_Kasai



Series: The A-Z of One Lucifer Morningstar [6]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Deckerstar, F/M, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Insecure Lucifer, Panic Attacks, Protective Chloe Decker, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SK_Kasai/pseuds/SK_Kasai
Summary: The offspring did not say anything, studying his face."Never fear asking a question, urchin." He said after a while of uncomfortable silence, awkwardly clasping her hand in his ridiculously larger one, "Never to me, especially.""But what if I make you sad?" She asked, brow furrowing, "I really don't want you to get sad, Lucifer. You're already sad enough.""Sad?!!" He repeated, scoffing, "The devil doesn't get sad, urchin. Really, now, where do you even get these outlandish ideas?"She regarded him, unamused, still trying to decide if she should ask that question of hers."I won't be sad." He sighed, curiousity burning, urging him to know what the bloody question had to be, "I give you my word."She sighed again, before closing her eyes and nodding."Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"Lucifer went for a laugh, the horrible pick-up line version of her question flashing in the back of his mind.But he failed. Tremendously.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Trixie Decker & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: The A-Z of One Lucifer Morningstar [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654774
Comments: 34
Kudos: 579





	F Is For Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone... How's self-isolation going? Hopefully, this will be some sort of distant nightmare soon enough...
> 
> Two things you should know about this one:  
> 1) It's set in season 2, in the blurry time between the season 1 finale and the first/second episode. So, none of our favourite Deckerstar moments, no mum yet, no Candy, and definitely no established Deckerstar.  
> 2) **TRIGGER WARNING:** Graphic depiction of a panic attack/flashback. Reader discretion advised hence. Please, please, be careful and stay safe.

Babysitting the offspring was not that hard.

She was odd, attaching herself to his hip more often than not, or snuggling to his side, or simply touching him in any way possible at all times.

Lucifer did not understand it, but he was slowly learning to not question it. After all, the little miscreant was fun in her own way. If he were being honest, the King of Hell would go as far as to say that he _liked_ spending time with her, hugs included. (Not that he would admit it under hell's most potent torture)

But at the moment, the child was staring at him. As a matter of fact, she had been for the past ten minutes. To make matters worse, she had been giving him long, concerned looks every time she thought he was not looking.

Lucifer pondered over this dilemma as he fixed them a simple dinner of Mac and Cheese (at her own request of course because Mac and Cheese was apparently the 'best food ever' despite his attempts to introduce her to true culinary delights)

He dished out some for the Detective, placing it in the microwave for when she came home, before he dished out the urchin's plate and then finally his. Did the little human get her obsession with this meal from her mother?

With the table set, he placed two bowls across from each other, taking a seat. He was about to strike up another conversation with the her, not being a huge fan of silence himself, when his phone pinged.

Lucifer instantly grabbed his phone from where he had tossed it on the table an hour or so ago. He was not disappointed. Sure enough, there was a text from the Detective!

**__Behaving?_ **

**_Oh, yes, Detective. Your spawn is behaving exceptionally well. As I said, this whole babysitting thing is easy. Almost too easy. How is your boring paperwork going?**

As he waited for a response, Lucifer wondered if his text was too long. Was there such a thing? Did it even matter? Did-

**__I meant you, Lucifer._ **

He could almost see her rolling her eyes but smiling anyways. Without even realizing it, Lucifer's face split into a wide grin.

**__Paperwork's fine. Just thought I'd check on you._ **

**__Everything is fine? Right?_ **

**__Lucifer!_ **

He realized that he had spaced out, staring at the screen while he thought about her. Ugh. How could she even make him feel so much by doing absolutely nothing? The Detective was baffling... 

**_Everything is fine, Detective! Have a little faith.**

**__A little faith in the devil? What a thought..._ **

**_Who else could you possibly have faith in, darling?**

He added his signature devil emoji at the end. 

He could almost picture her. She would be half-smiling at her phone, her eyes glinting like they did every time she teased him like this. She would probably be drinking her coffee (horrible when he was not there to get it for her!), taking a break and- 

"So, are you and mommy finally dating?" 

_Oh, I wish!_ A small voice at the back of his mind was quick to say. Lucifer shushed it, smothering the sudden thought by whatever walls a devil ought to have. 

"Urchin," He began, tentative, "why on earth would you think that?" 

"Well," the little miscreant shrugged, pointing a spoonful of her dinner at him, "you've been making the world's largest heart eyes at your phone ever since it dinged. It isn't even hard to be sure that mommy is the one texting you, because you keep whispering 'Detective!' before smiling and typing really quickly to reply. Don't worry though, she looks at you the same. I'm sure she really, _really_ loves you. You're both just being silly." 

Loves? The Detective? Him?!!!

Silly...

He regarded the spawn as she continued to eat her dinner, wondering if she knew what a profound effect her little explanation had on him. Both of her parent were detectives, but this was absurd. No human offspring was going to do this to him.

But as he looked at her, Lucifer could still notice that something was wrong.

He peeked at his phone, noticing the lack of a text from the Detective. She probably went back to working then. Lucifer grabbed his spoon, before setting on the task of finishing his untouched dinner. Now that he thought about it, he was ravenous.

Dinner progressed without any major incidents, unless one counted the spawn's continuous looks. Even as she chatted his ear off about all her tiny spawn friends, what she did at 'school', what games she had invented recently, what her toys were doing... Something was amiss.

Once dinner was done, he did the dishes, figuring that the Detective deserved some rest after her long day at work. He set the urchin on one of the counters, listening to her prattle on as he did a bit of extra cleaning as well. Really, the state of the Detective's cabinets was atrocious...

Who said a devil couldn't be helpful?

Once he was satisfied with the state of the kitchen, Lucifer went to pick the spawn up, wincing when she threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her little, short legs around his torso. He didn't want her to get hurt jumping down. She was so tiny... Besides, what would the Detective say if he were to return her daughter with a broken leg?

"This shirt is Prada, you little hellion." He mumbled half-heartedly, indigation still finding its way into his voice, "Must you use it as your personal doormat?"

She just giggled, tightening her hold on his neck. To say that he was uncomfortable was an understandment, but he also felt warm on the inside. It was strange... Perhaps he ought to ask Doctor Linda about in their next session?

"Thank you for dinner, Lucifer!" She smiled, "It was really yummy."

"Of course it was." He sniffed in mock-indigation, " _I_ made it after all, you urchin."

She giggled again, amused by his words.

"Do you plan on releasing me from your clutches any time soon?" He asked, when she made no move to let go of him.

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Will you let me go if I let you watch one your boring Disney movies?" He bargained.

She shrugged, mumbling a faint agreement. He set her on the floor, plopping down on the couch himself and wondering what animated torture she was going to subject him to now. Oh, how he could use a drink...

She inserted a disc into the DVD player before running over to him. The spawn sat down next to him, hurrying to _snuggle_ into his side like he was some sort of bloody stuffed animal.

"Spawn?" He gulped, horrified, "What... What are you doing?"

"Cuddling you, silly." She sighed, "It's how you're supposed to watch movies." She informed him, eyes sad at his ignorance.

"Cuddling?" He echoed, scandalized, "The Devil does not cuddle!"

"Everybody cuddles." She explained patiently, as if he was slow or something.

"The devil doesn't!" Lucifer insisted, "Why would anyone subject themselves to this torture?" He frowned.

"It isn't torture!" The offspring sighed again, as if greatly burdened, "It is necessary."

"Whatver the hell for?!!"

"It makes you feel good inside." She informed him, lifting her head from where she had buried in his chest, "It's nice and warm and... people who love each other cuddle, Lucifer. Family and friends and _everyone._ It's like... basics. Like hugging."

"I've never understood the bloody point of hugging." He grit out, floored. She...? People who love each other? The offspring loved him? And the Detective? After all, there was that one time...

The spawn looked like she wanted to talk more about the subject, but she just shook her head and pressed herself closer to him. She was practically in his lap, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck and her wispy hair almost tickling the base of his throat.

Lucifer wanted to bolt from the couch. He wanted to hide somewhere, and just... Leave. Go somewhere were no little humans tried to hug him to death. However, for reasons that he could not even begin to fathom, he lowered his hands and brought one of them to rest on the spawn's back. She sighed and slumped further into him, relaxing at the contact.

He had no idea what the plot of the weird movie about talking fish was about. For the next hour or so, he just mulled over the spawn's words in his mind, trying to make sense of them. He'd been alive for millenia, and nobody had ever informed him of these things much less engaged in them with him. Not even back in the Silver City... Not that he could remember much from his childhood, before his Father began working on his projects and his Mother grew cold and distant.

Perhaps it was something humans invented recently?

But that could not be true. He had seen souls engaging in this 'cuddling' back in hell. Usually, the moment would be broken by whatever punishment their hell loop was designed to inflict upon them though.

Sooner than he liked, the movie was over and the spawn was back to staring at him. She had been staring at him sporadically throughout the movie; throughout his entire stay here.

"Alright, that's it." He declared, finding that his voice had returned, "Offspring, you have been staring at me all evening. If there is something that you would like to inquire about or know, ask. This is... unsettling."

She bit her lip, peeling herself away from him slightly. She scrambled a bit backwards, still sitting in his lap, but facing him. She was so tiny... How did she even fuction being so short?

Lucifer focused on that, ignoring the alien stab of relief that pierced through him when she did not move away completely. He wanted the little human gone. He _hated_ this cuddling thing. He did. He was Lucifer Bloody Morningstar after all and he did not-

"It might be a bit personal." She mumbled in a small voice, not meeting his eyes, "I... Mommy says that we should be careful when asking people personal questions, 'cause they might not want to answer or 'cause they might get sad or uncomfortable."

Oh, so that was what this was about?

"You needn't worry then, spawn." He went for a smile, finding a strange instinct within him that sent alarm bells wailing in his head upon seeing the little girl sad, "I am, after all, an open book."

The offspring did not say anything, studying his face.

"Never fear asking a question, urchin." He said after a while of uncomfortable silence, awkwardly clasping her hand in his ridiculously larger one, "Never to me, especially."

"But what if I make you sad?" She asked, brow furrowing, "I really don't want you to get sad, Lucifer. You're already sad enough."

"Sad?!!" He repeated, scoffing, "The devil doesn't get sad, urchin. Really, now, where do you even get these outlandish ideas?"

She regarded him, unamused, still trying to decide if she should ask that question of hers.

"I won't be sad." He sighed, curiousity burning, urging him to know what the bloody question had to be, "I give you my word."

She sighed again, before closing her eyes and nodding. 

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Lucifer went for a laugh, the horrible pick-up line version of her question flashing in the back of his mind.

But he failed. Tremendously. 

As he looked at the spawn, her eyes wide and nervous and curious, something broke inside of him. Like water flooding through a broken dam, the memories overwhelmed his reality. Horrors that he hadn't even realized that he'd locked away escaped whatever box he had been trapping them in.

_He was burning. The world flashed by his peripherals, his stars a blur of ethereal light that seemed to mock him._

_It hurt! It hurt! It hurt!_

_His world was nothing but pain; a sadistic tournament between his emotional anguish and his current physical predicament. How could have everything shattered so quickly?_

_IT HURT! IT BURNED!_

_He was falling, burning, hurting, screaming._

_And no one was there._

_Not Michael. Not mum. Not dad. Not even Amenadiel or anyone else from his many, many siblings. He was alone and he was hurting and nothing was ever going to be okay ever again because... because..._

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe!

He was suffocating and choking. His chest felt like it might burst. His body was on fire, every last nerve screaming at things that he couldn't understand.

"Lucifer!" Someone was yelling, slapping his cheek gently but firmly, "Lucifer, Lucifer! Snap out of it!"

Suddenly, he could breathe again. Lucifer took a deep breath, amazed at the fact that he could breathe. He gulped in the air, blinking rapidly in an attempt to expel the darkness shrouding his vision.

He was... Where was he? What was going on?

Lucifer realized that he was shaking. He wondered if he was having what humans refered to as a "heart attack" because, otherwise, why was his heart beating like that?

He was wondering if he should be worrying about the possibility of his impeding death when he registered that someone was still slapping his cheek lightly. A hand was rubbing at his back, avoiding his scars.

He was almost grateful for the consideration the stranger was putting into this, when he realized that someone was touching him.

Someone was touching him and he hated it because it burned and... and...

"Lucifer," the same cautious voice said, "calm down. You're safe. You're okay. Lucifer, it's me. Chloe. The Detective. Trixie is here too. You're at my place and you're safe. Please come back. Breathe, Lucifer, breathe."

He followed the instructions given to him, a deeper part of himself recognizing the voice as someone to be trusted.

Some time passed, and he was being lowered to sit down again. He flinched, begging the person not to touch him, his usual façade be damned.

Besides, he could always trust the Detective.

The Detective! 

She was here and... What was happeneing?

"Hey, there you are." She was smiling, hovering by his side, clearly wanting to touch him but holding herself back.

Lucifer had never seen something as beautiful.

But he was tired and confused. He was lost, unsure about what happened. He... Had someone poisoned him?

"No one poisoned you, Lucifer." She sighed, "You were just having a panic attack."

Had he spoken out loud? Oh. 

A panic attack? Whatever that was, it sounded dreadful. Was that why he had been simultaneously choking and having heart troubles of sorts?

"Devil doesn't panic, darling." He heard himself say.

The spawn was crying.

Why was she crying?

Lucifer was about to ask her as much, to assure her that he would disembowel whoever made her cry like that, when he discerned that his eyes were... leaking as well.

He was _crying_.

Lucifer jumped off the couch, his wide eyes blinking furiously to banish the salty tears. However, the only thing that that seemed to accomplished was causing them to cascade harder down his cheeks.

His skin was too tight for him. An unpleasant feeling that he could not name swept over his senses. He had to get out of here and go... somewhere. Anywhere.

He told the Detective something along those lines, his voice sounding so far away to his own ears.

Lucifer pushed past the Detective and hurried past the urchin, whispering apologies all the while.

He was out the door and in his Corvette in no time, not even realizing that he was in his socks. He tapped into the light within himself, needing less than an ounce to turn the Corvette on.

The engine roared to life, and off he went, driving like a man possessed.

Except that he was no man and that it was impossible to possess him.

He was the devil and he was horrified and he hated every second of these unknown phenomena befalling his mind and body.

He did not realize that he also left his suit jacket, phone, and keys back. Perhaps he just did not care.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

He barely made it back to LUX.

The drive back was uncomfortable and odd; toeing the line between too long and too short. There were a lot of bright lights, curses, and honking cars. 

He did not care.

Lucifer jumped out of the car, tripping and falling. He scrambled back, pressing his back to the car. His eyes scanned the darkness of his private garage, his heart still beating very, very quickly. He was dying, wasn't he?

Lucifer spent the next hour or so in that position, trying to calm down to no avail. The question was not that bad. Why... Why was he reacting like this? What was happening to him? That... that memory... Why had it rushed back? 

Eventually, he found it in him to get up. He dusted himself off, frowning at his socked feet and his dishelved appearance. He rolled down his shirt sleeves, and fixed his collar. Lucifer regarded his face in the side mirror, frowning at his wide, bloodshot eyes and his clammy, pale skin. Ah, well, he could probably pass it off as doing a lot of drugs if anyone saw him.

He hurried to his private elevator, shoulders squared and gaze cold, daring anyone to look at him for too long.

Lucifer tried to not feel too relived when he made it to his Penthouse without seeing anyone.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

It was Sunday, two days after the unfortunate babysitting incident, and she still hasn't heard anything from Lucifer.

To make matters worse, Trixie was no help either.

Chloe had tried to swing by LUX Friday evening after Trixie had went to Dan's after the weekend. She had Lucifer's phone, suit jacket, shoes, and a heaping pile of questions and concerns to voice. Of course, she was informed that Lucifer was holding one of his special "private" parties up at the Penthouse. She was apparently welcome to join, according to Maze at the very least, but Chloe had declined.

She handed Maze the bag of things, ignoring the other woman's complaints.

"You're going up either ways, Maze." She sighed, "Just... Just give him the bag and tell him to call me or text me or something... Please. I'm worried about him."

Maze looked sick, disgusted by the amount of 'emotion' in her words.

"The King of Hell doesn't need humans worrying about him." Maze rolled her eyes, scoffing.

Chloe did not dignify that with answer, turning on her heel to leave.

As she stared at her steering wheel, biting her lip, she pondered over the profound effect the ex-bartender's words had on her.

Lucifer...

"King of Hell" or traumatized, delusional man, she was certain that Lucifer needed at least one person to worry about him.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

It was Monday afternoon and Chloe Decker was beyond fed up.

He had not answered any of her calls or texts. 

He had even abandoned LUX, leaving her to come to an apartment that was beyond wrecked with things that she wished she had never seen. No one heard anything from him. Not Maze. Not Linda. No one.

She wanted to get swept up by her anger, but she found that her concern and fear for whatever was happening to him always had the upper hand on her emotions and state. 

His usual appointment with his therapist wasn't until tomorrow. He hadn't visited or called the woman either.

Lucifer did not have anyone. He had no one to talk to. No one to help him. 

So, a part of her had taken it upon herself to do all the worrying and the helping, if only he let her.

It was a slow day, mostly paperwork with no homicides. She almost missed Lucifer swinging around in his chair, annoying her to the point of near-madness. 

She was contemplating calling him again, when her phone rang.

"Detective!" 

He sounded... cheerful.

"Lucifer, are you okay?" She asked, almost hating herself for how concerned she sounded. She wanted tp give him some space, but how could she when all she could think about was him struggling to breathe and flinching. He had looked so terrified, so alone, so pained...

"Of course I am, Detective." He laughed, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Lucifer..."

"I... I was wondering if you could relay a message to your spawn? I need to apologize to her." He asked instead of answering the million questions she had buried in that utterance of his name, "I lost my old phone and I haven't the chance or the patience to reclaim my old number which she constantly texted me at somehow despite how-"

"Lucifer, why don't you just come over tonight?" She cut in, wondering if she could have the time to unpack everything he just revealed in his ramblings.

"Come over?" He repeated, dumbfounded, "But... Isn't the urchin mad at me?"

What?

_What?_

"Why would she be mad at you?" Chloe sputtered, lost in her attempt to keep up with the strange ways her partner's mind worked, "She's been worried sick about you, asking about you everyday..."

"Worried...?"

"Just come on over for dinner today, Lucifer."

"Why?"

"Please?" Was she being pushy? Probably. But she needed to see him. Trixie could also use seeing him. Imagining him there in his Penthouse drinking, doing drugs, and sleeping with a copious number of strangers... There was a limit to how much she could handle.

"Very well, Detective." He relented, sounding confused, "I'll cook dinner then?"

"Sure. Yeah. Sure." She nodded, tapping her pen against the edge of the manila file in front of her several times, "Sure. Sure. Sure."

"Detective?" He actually sounded _scared_ , "Is something the matter? Are you alright?"

"Yeah." She blushed, "Be there at 6?"

"Alright." He agreed, hanging up.

This better be good.

_***cries in Deckerstar*** _

She had been expecting Lucifer in a full-blown I-am-panicking-I-have-no-idea-regarding-how-to-deal-with-your-pesky-human-emotions mood.

She was not disappointed.

Chloe stared at him, standing there in her doorway, holding several shopping bags in one hand. He hurried in when she stepped aside, making a bee-line for the kitchen. Lucifer placed the bags on the counter, unbothered by their number or weight. He began to rummage through them, muttering something to himself.

"So..." She ventured, careful as can be, "The great Lucifer Morningstar does know how to knock. Shocker."

"Yes, well, occasionally." He mumbled distractedly as he rifled through the dozen or so bags.

"And you thought you'd feed a... small army? Football team? Two? Three...?"

"What? No!" He turned to her, shaking his head as if she was slow on the intake before turning back to his bags, "I couldn't decide which meal would be most appropriate so I got a vast array of groceries just in case."

"Appropriate for what?"

Was inviting him here a mistake? Lucifer was always welcome of course, but just how much Lucifer-ness could she put up with when she was already beside herself with worry for him?

Lucifer did not answer her though. He snatched a large bag, laughing in triumph. He turned to Trixie's room, tensing a bit.

Lucifer seemed to decide that it was a now-or-never situation. He straightened up the 'mystery' bag, squared his shoulders, and marched off to whatever battle he was convinced that he had to suffer through.

"Lucifer." She stopped him with a hand at his bicep, wincing interally when he flinched and almost pulled away, "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"I... Yes. Of course, Detective." He nodded to her, repetitive, clearly not understanding her.

"If you ever need to talk... If you need a friend or if you need some help with-"

"The devil doesn't need help, darling!" He rolled his eyes at her again, huffing in indigation, "Now, if you'll excuse me."

He pulled away from her, avoiding her eyes and whatever emotions that were swirling within the depths of those blue galaxies. How could she have forgotten how stubborn he can be?

Chloe found herself alone in her kitchen as he softly shut the door to her daughter's bedroom, whatever 'secret' business between them about to take place.

She had orchestrated this to ease her worry. While seeing him, alive and whole and most certainly not buried in the thoroughs of a painful panic attack helped... Somehow, she was sure that her worry had only managed to intensify.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

If you told Lucifer Morningstar that there would be a day in his future where he wanted to run at the thought of encountering a human spawn, he would have laughed.

But he was not laughing and she was no regular human spawn.

She was the _Detective's_ spawn and she was the little urchin that he had broken his word to.

She was also the girl currently glued to his waist, sobbing into his shirt.

Lucifer wanted to express his disgust at the tears. He wanted to remark on how he did not want offspring snot ruining his costly, fine shirt. However, he could hardly make himself think of the words much less actually say them.

All he could think about was the fact that the spawn was crying and that it was his fault. He had done this. He had made the poor little human cry. He really was a monster. He really was worse than-

"I'm s-so sorry, Lucifer!" She sobbed into his shirt, "I didn't know that that was gonna happen. I'm sorry! I just read about you-know-what online and I wanted to ask if it was true because it sounded like it hurt. A lot. And I... I just wanted to make sure that you were okay... I didn't mean to hurt you myself!"

"You didn't hurt me, urchin." He swallowed, voice lower than he had intended. This... this feeling in his chest? What was it?

Like the abominable (yet odly enjoyable) cuddling of the other day, Lucifer found his free arm settling on the little human's head, patting it awkwardly.

"I apologize for how I reacted." He cleared his throat, wondering if he was covering this strange, uncharted territory of bloody emotions correctly, "I... I gave you my word that I wouldn't get 'sad' and I... broke it. I never do that. You, as a matter of fact, didn't deserve that. For that, I, uh, my deepest apologies..."

"Lucifer," She hiccuped, stepping away from him.

"Yes, spawn?"

"Stop being stupid." She ordered him, the fierce look in her eyes and her crossed arms making her look more like her mother than he had thought possible.

"I... I beg your pardon?"

"Stop being stupid, Lucifer!" She demanded, voice raising, "You don't have anything to apologize for. Not even being dumb about this." She informed him, "I'm sorry I asked you that stupid question in the first place. Mommy says that we can't control how we react to stuff that really, really hurt in the past. So, it isn't your fault, silly."

She was giving him a look that was so Detective-like and he was floored. What would his brothers and sisters say if they saw him being reprimanded by an eight-year-old human spawn?

Change of tactic.

"I brought you chocolate cake!" He exclaimed, voice just a tad too high, thursting the large box into her hands, "As an apology. It usually works with Detective Douche, right?"

Ugh.

He _loathed_ the nervousness in his voice.

"Thank you!" She squaled, throwing her arms around his waist again, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Not that there's anything to apologize for." She added, almost as an after-thought.

"It hurt a lot." He whispered, not looking at anything in particular, "It hurt more than anything I've ever felt."

He spared her the details, certain that he had once seen something on television about how easily trauamtized little humans were. If the whole ordeal left him traumatized... He would tear apart anyone who dared to think about harming the spawn.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer." She whispered back.

She was crying again, clinging to him. The large, white plastic bag containing her favourite chocolate cake was abandoned at the floor by their feet. She clung to him for a long time, unbothered by his silence.

He couldn't talk though, not even if he wanted to. Not when this caring, compassionate mini-person was crying on his behalf... _For_ him...

Lucifer didn't understand why she was doing it. Perhaps she wanted something in return?

But as he stood there in her garish bedroom, stiff as a board, her words from the other day came floating back to him.

_"It's nice and warm and... people who love each other cuddle, Lucifer. Family and friends and everyone... It's like... basics. Like hugging."_

Maybe this was like cuddling? Perhaps hugging, as he was learning at the moment, served a similar purpose?

"Do you think I should hide the cake under my bed and eat it for a few days after mommy goes to sleep or take it to the kitchen?" She asked after a while, voice innocent.

The little minx!

She... was she trying to distract him? To give him a way out of this bloody mess?

She was certainly acting like it. With the serious frown on her face as she mulled her upcoming, difficult decision and the way she disentangled herself from him....

"I don't think so, monkey." The Detective was smiling at them, leaning against the doorway.

When had she...? What had she seen exactly? 

The spawn had a defeated look on her face, giving her mother the best pleading look she could muster.

"No." The Detective laughed, shaking her head at her daughter.

Lucifer... If his mouth was suddenly dry and if his pulse was a bit quicker... It had nothing with the Detective smiling like that. Oh, the things he would do to see that smile...

"How about you finish up your homework?" She suggested, "We could sit down and have dinner with Lucifer afterwards... and then you could have some chocolate cake."

"Lucifer's staying for dinner?" She exclaimed, turning to him for confirmation, "Awesome!"

She hugged him one last time, handing the cake to her mother. The spawn hurried away to do her homework (not that he would ever understand the point of that)

"I will never comprehend why she likes having me around so much." He shook his head, frowning as if that could somehow provide him with an answer.

The Detective just smiled at him with tangible sadness. Lucifer found that there were a lot of things that he still could not begin to understand about his interactions with the Deckers. Would he ever understand them?

"How about I give you a hand with dinner?" The Detective asked, her hand on his forearm. Did all Deckers love touching him in the most ridiculous, meaningless ways? This recurring feeling in his chest though... Perhaps these casual touches were not meaningless after all?

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Who knew if his vocal cords had healed from the weird conversation with the urchin? He did not want to look weak in front of his Detective, especially not after last week's fiasco.

She smiled at him again, rendering him incapable of coherent thought. Lucifer allowed her to tug him to the kitchen, hardly listening to her complain about all the ingredients that he had purchased.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

Lucifer enjoyed cooking with the Detective. To be fair, he was certain that he would enjoy anything if the Detective was involved.

He did his best to be his usual, annoying self, putting a lot of effort into cranking up his jokes, puns, and innuendos to a maximum.

After all, if the Detective continued giving him that look, clearly trying her hardest to not tie him down somewhere and make him talk... Lucifer would talk. He would do anything to remove all that stupid worry creasing her brow.

Worry for him...

He scoffed.

As if...

Soon enough, their dinner of simple chicken parmesian was completed (the rest of the groceries placed in their appropriate places in the kitchen; you're welcome, Detective!)

The urchin insisted on sitting next to him, essentially dragging him to a chair. Lucifer did not protest.

He continued being his usual boisterous self, amused by the spawn's crafty attempts at dodging her mother's questions about what had gone down between the two of them. They were more entertaining than her attempts at striking a better bargain for the chocolate cake. Realistically speaking, he would have to start teaching the tiny miscreant the correct methods of conducting deals...

He helped the Detective with the dishes, answering the million questions the spawn had for him from where she was sitting at the kitchen table. She was colouring something 'secret'. Lucifer didn't care.

When everything was in place at last, he went to grab his suit jacket and belongings, wondering what kind of entertainment his trusty club had in store for him tonight.

"Lucifer!" The spawn admonished, "You can't go! We still have to eat the cake and watch a movie!"

"I wouldn't say no to the cake, urchin." He mused, "But you have my utmost refusal in regards to your movie offer."

"Why?" She asked, staring at him with wide eyes, equal parts whiny and curious.

"Because you think that peak cinema is talking, cartoon fish." He stated.

"Finding Nemo is a great movie!" The Detective giggled.

"Well, too bad I've already seen it then."

"We can have a rewatch!"

"Spawn, absolutely not; you made me suffer through it two days ago!"

Granted he had no idea what the movie was actually about, but still...

"Well," The Detective smiled, "there's a sequel."

Lucifer groaned the same time the tiny human cheered and ran off to set up the movie.

Lucifer and Trixie had two slices of chocolate cake a piece, before the Detective cut them off, stating that she did not want either of them to get sick or end up on a sugar high.

"But I'm not a child, Detective!" He complained.

"You sure are pouting like one." She countered, making her daughter snicker and his 'pout' intensify.

"How dare you?" He exclaimed, affronted.

He approached the couch with tangible weariness, wondering what had possessed him to accept such a thing. Surely going to LUX and partying all night would have been the more sensible option?

The spawn grabbed his hand, dragging him to sit at the middle of the couch. He watched her mandhandling him as she fussed with small details that he could not begin to understand. When had the devil started allowing tiny humans to drag him around like some limp toy?

His eyes widened when she snuggled into his side. He squirmed, fighting every instinct that told him to bolt through the front door and never come back here.

"Again with this abominable cuddling of yours, spawn?" He asked, managing to make his voice sound even and uninterested.

"You're gonna learn it one way or another." She shrugged, "Maze did by the way. It looks like you need it too, Lucifer. Everybody does."

Maze had...? Bloody hell. Had the urchin taught his most fearsome demon how to _cuddle?_ Earth was really changing them...

He was wondering if it would be 'too rude' to just get up and leave. Wasn't it enough that he was considering things such as how rude he might come off as? Did he have to sit here and try to decipher the impossible blend of emotions this cuddling shenanigans envoked within him?

"Wow, monkey." The Detective mused, smiling in adorable confusion as came back from the kitchen.

"I've been trying to teach Lucifer how to cuddle." The urchin informed her, burrowing deeper into his chest, "No one taught him before, mommy. That's really, really sad."

Lucifer had paled at the explanation and the Detective's softened gaze. The... Was that _pity_ shining in her eyes? The devil did not get pitied! He-

She carefully sat next to him, leaning into his side. Lucifer flinched, before his muscles tightened and his entire body froze.

"Is this okay?" She whispered, wrapping an arm around him, "You don't have to suffer through this, Lucifer. It's just that-"

"It's fine, Detective." He found himself whispering, not daring to look her in the eye.

She smiled again, melting into his side. Her hair was tickling his chin. Her perfume was divine, enveloping his senses. She was warm and limp against him. She was there. With him.

And he should've been glad. He really should have.

The Detective- his beautiful, hot, magnificent, Detective- was glued to his side. She was hugging him; cuddling him; touching him. It should have been a dream come true. He should be making lewd jokes and innuendoes. He should be enjoying himself at the very least!

But Lucifer was horrified.

The touch was foreign. 

She wasn't like any of the numerous women who had sat in his lap before. Her touch was nothing like the millions of touches that he had experienced by now. As a matter of fact, this 'cuddling' business wasn't anywhere on his spectrum of touches. It was strange when he considered how broad the spectrum itself was, enlarged throughout centuries of countless lovers and evolving human trends.

The spawn had started the movie some time ago. Fish moved around on the flat screen, talking and swimming rapidly and doing who-knows-what. How could either of them possibly exoct him to have an inkling regarding the silly plot of the animated movie when they were curled up against him like that?

"Are you alright, Lucifer?" The Detective whispered, tilting her head up to search his face.

How could he possibly be alright when she was looking at him like that? The tenderness in her infinite blue eyes... The sheer warmth of her gaze and the care... Lucifer doubted that he would ever be alright again.

"Fine, Detective." He whispered back, monotonic and nonchalant.

"Trixie fell asleep ten minutes ago." She informed him softly, "I could put her to bed? Stop your prolonged torture by Disney movies?"

He nodded at her suggestion, almost shocked to find the spawn sleeping soundly as she hugged him.

Ugh. She was drooling on his shirt.

He should have been disgusted, but all he could feel was a paralyzing sense of loss when the Detective picked up her daughter and carried her to her bedroom.

He... He should have been happy. They had both stopped 'cuddling' him. The weird sensations that he wanted nothing to do with should have been gone.

However, the loss and the tantalizing shards of... loneliness?... were quick to take over.

Lucifer groaned, his head cradled in his hands. He rested his elbows on his knees, head bowed as his mind worked furiously to solve this ridiculous puzzle.

He hated emotions, touching, and cuddling.

That was what he was trying to convince himself of at the very least.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

She came back ten minutes later to find him exactly where she left him, eyes closed and back arched.

For a moment, she wondered if he had fallen asleep or if he was in pain. The moment passed when he sighed, raking a hand through his hair, before assuming his previous position.

Her heart broke a little. Images of him struggling to breathe on that same couch flashed before her mind. She saw him looking so horrified, so scared of monsters he refused to tell her about. He had every right to privacy of course. She would never make him do anything. But, on the other hand, she had every right to worry as well.

She sat down next to him, slow and cautious. Lucifer startled, straightening up immeaditly when he saw her.

"So..." She asked, "No hope for getting the story from you either?"

"The story?"

"What happened between you and Trixie." She clarified, tucking a strand that had fallen loose from her tight ponytail behind her ear, "She says that it's a 'secret'."

"Then a secret it shall remain."

Chloe snorted at his words, shaking her head.

He would have told her, but Lucifer was certain that it would not make a difference. The spawn believed that he was the actual devil (to his never ending amazement). She understood the implications of that question. The Detective though... Would she just call it a metaphor? Claim that he was delusional? Overreacting?

Lucifer had no intention to find out.

"I'm sorry for whatever she said..." The Detective tried, "I'm sure she didn't mean it..."

"No harm done, Detective."

"I know that I sound like a broken record, and I'm probably annoying you... But, Lucifer, I'm serious; if you need anything... If there's anything that I can do to help..."

He stared at her, uncomprehending. 

"This cuddling thing..." He finally said, opting to ignore her earlier statement, "Why does your offspring love it so much? Is there something wrong with her?"

"She's a kid, Lucifer." The Detective frowned, "Kids love hugs. Cuddling. Whatever. It's... natural."

"Natural." He echoed, "And here I was thinking that it must be some sort of deformity or something of the like..."

He looked nonpulsed, amused by the revelation at best. Chloe wondered how she must have looked at that moment; angry? Horrified? Heartbroken?

She hoped that she wasn't showing any of those feelings though.

"Didn't your parents hug you when you were a child?" She asked instead, already dreading the answer.

Lucifer laughed.

He laughed as if she had shared a particularly hilarious joke.

He laughed as if laughter could have been an appropriate answer to such a question; a correct response out of the many acceptable ones.

"Oh, you're serious." He realized, a frown tugging at his lips. He tilted his head, staring at her with all the confusion that she had began to associate with anything normal facing her partner.

She reckoned that she must have looked horrified at least. Sad maybe? 

"They did not." Lucifer cleared his throat, "Ah, they were always too... busy, I suppose. If any hugging took place before... everything, then I am afraid that even my perfect memory cannot aid me in recalling suh a thing."

She wanted to cry. She wanted to find his family and... she wanted to beat them with a baseball bat. Something painful and slow. Perhaps she ought to shoot them for every wound they had inflicted upon the clueless man sitting by her side.

But how could she? Would there even be enough bullets when no one knew how deep Lucifer's psychological scars went? Those gaping scars on his back... They were hardly the tip of a gigantic iceberg.

It was almost as if her body moved out of its own accord, wrapping the startled man in her arms.

Lucifer was all tense muscles and befuddled, wide, chocolate eyes. He did not move to reciprocate her hug, but he did not push her away either. That had to be a good sign right?

"If it's any consolation to you and the urchin, I don't think I loathe this cuddling thing." He told her, soft and quiet; almost a whisper.

"Good." She whispered back, scooting closer to him, "Because I don't think I'm letting go of you any time soon."

"Detective!" He purred, pleased, grinning like Cheshire cat, "I didn't know you cared! Perhaps we could move this elsewhere and I could-"

"Lucifer." She deadpanned.

He seemed to sense something in her tone, because he shut his mouth after muttering something about her always ruining the fun.

"Detective?" He asked after several minutes, fidgeting in her grasp.

"Hmmm?"

"May I ask you an incredibly idiotic question?"

She entertained the thought of a sarcastic retort. A joke maybe? However, seeing the seriousness in his gaze and the near bashfulness lingering in the lines of his face...

"Anything." She smiled, encouraging him.

She a hand up and down the center of his back, deftly avoiding his scars. Was there some sort of magic that she could invest in to ingrain relaxation into him? To delete whatever made him so skittish?

"Your spawn said that touches like this; huggling, cuddling... She implied that humans use them to convey their emotions... their love. So, uh..." He looked horrified all of a sudden, almost incapable of believing that the words were coming out of his own mouth...

She expected him to bail out on the conversation, to change the subject or-

"Doesitmeanthatyouloveme?" He asked in a rush, eyes snapping shut as if the universe was going to implode into a giant ball of flames under the effects of his words.

As for her... She was floored. Shocked. Horrified. She... What could she even tell him? How could she explain the billion ways her heart broke for the lonely, confused man in her arms? 

"I... My apologies, Detective." He laughed, almost manic, jumping off the couch and out of her hold, "That was a ridiculous question and I am confident that-"

"Lucifer?"

She got up, taking both of her hands in his. Her eyes remained fixed on his, searching for things that she didn't exactly understand. However, Chloe was certain that understanding was not crucial. Not in this case anyways.

She pulled him closer, shushing him.

Closer and closer and closer...

Suddenly her hands were wrapped around his neck in a loose hug. Her palm flew north, stroking the back of his head. Ever so gentle, she brought his head down and pressed their lips together.

Lucifer was beyond shocked. He did not kiss her back. He did not even move. Her eyes were closed, giving her senses more room to savor him. Had they been open, what would she have seen?

She was afraid, horriefied that she had somehow misinterpreted what he meant. Perhaps it was all just a huge misunderstanding? A stupid blunder on her part?

But then he pulled her closer, deepening their contact in every way imaginable. 

"Of course I love you." She whispered. She stroked the side of his face as they stood there, foreheads pressed together and hearts beating at insane speeds.

She felt... Calm. Whole. Complete. 

He was smiling in a way that suggested that he was experiencing the same emotions; shock and disbelief just seemed to predominate.

"And I you, Detective." His voice was gravely, his eyes wet, "Always. If... If you'll have me, that is."

"Lucifer?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop being stupid." She ordered.

He smiled then, laughing through his tears.

"Like mother, like daughter."

They seemed to spend an eternity staring into each other's eyes. No words were used or needed.

As she studied the wonder and disbelief in his eyes, Chloe started a mental list on how to teach the devil. otherwise known as her new boyfriend, the meaning of love.

Everything was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this same prompt was done several times, but I wanted to try my hand at it after it was suggested by the lovely Moniurek96, Fic_me_up_buttercup and SFFCorgi. Thanks, everyone, for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and all manners of other awesome things that never cease to amaze me. As usual, if you have any prompts for anything starting from J and onwards this time, just let me know!
> 
> If you're ever on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NerdQueen777?s=09  
> Or Tumblr: https://sk-kasai-my-world.tumblr.com/  
> (Because I enjoy spending copious amounts of time there)
> 
> Stay safe in these tough times!


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